So I guess it's been a long time since I've updated anything on here.  It's been supremely busy here at this new house.  My life seems so messy and clogged sometimes.

But I guess things are good...  I always complained about being stuck at my parent's house, not being able to do anything, always being so lonesome... now it's quite the opposite of all of those things.  I'm very rarely ever by myself, there's now too much to do, and I have the freedom to go anywhere I want, as long as I have bus fare and my bicycle tires are pumped.  But I don't know.  Things still don't feel quite in place.  It's such an overwhelming change, going from living one way to the way I live now.  It's really confusing.  I've changed a lot, I know  have.  I can especially tell at time when I get angry, because it seems to happen so often now.  And I get angry at Christopher a lot now, too.  I never ever used to get upset with him and now it's almost every day that he does something to tick me off.

I think I'm missing bits of my old lifestyle.  Just the privacy, and I miss not being pressured to do something.  Here, there are so many responsibilities, more than I thought there would be.

But it's been a great learning experience so far.  We've put together another Food Not Bombs chapter, and we cook here for both now.  One on Saturday and the other on Tuesday.  There's been crazy police brutality going on and a lot of the housemates helped organize the O22 police brutality protest here in Seattle.  We've been housing a bunch of people.  Some people we meet downtown or through friends, and a lot of the time it's through the Couchsurfers website.

I think my baby Oogle is dead, since he's been missing a couple days shy of a month now.  The night before Halloween, Some friends of ours said they saw him running around a couple houses down the street from us, but I don't know what to think.  Last time Oogle went missing, some friends said they saw him up the hill from our house, but there's a bunch of cats up there that look like him.  I miss him so much, I cry so often when I think of him.  He was my little baby kitty.  We had such a close bond, it was ridiculous.  I love him so much.

I'm trying to educate myself in the field of naturopathy.  I'm reading up on how to make home-made bleach and flea repellant, how to make certain tinctures and salves.  I tried really strong kava tea last night as an experiment, an it fucked me up.  It sucked.  It's supposed to relax your muscles and mellow you out.  It's a drink that friends drink together, kind of like the concept of friends drinking a beer together.  It's not supposed to get you crazy or fucked up, just relaxed.  Anyway, Chris and I made our own home-made batch, and it was way to strong for me.  It pretty much knocked me out and I went to bed.  But when he came upstairs a little later to climb into bed with me, I woke up and realized that my heart was racing, as if I'd just tried running a mile nonstop.  That's not good when it beats that fast while I was sleeping.  So I hobbled into the shower, feeling really groggy and scared, and sat there under the warm water, trying to calm down.  Breathe deep, Chris kept telliing me.  I tried and it didn't do anything.  I was really paranoid, kept thinking that I'd seen something out of the corner of my eye.

I sat there until the water ran cold.  I got out and stared around.  Chris was talking to me about giving me a back massage and I just remember that it took me forever to respond to him.  And then my skin felt super sensitive, so the massage wasn't a good idea.  When I tried to fall asleep, I'd wake up with a sharp inhale and a fleeting feeling of fear.  Chris later told me that it was because I wasn't breathing while I slept, and that sharp inhale was me taking a big breath in because I was lacking oxygen.

Basically, kava and me don't mix.  But it was good for Chris.  Just made him sleepy and soothed, and he went to bed fine.

Life at this new house is good.  Really good.

We've had an awesome house show with Jessie Williams (look her up, she's great), this adorable band called Junk Bones, and a bunch of other small cute little bands who were on the road and needed a place to stay.  so we had like twenty traveler kids stay over one night and a bunch of our friends as well, and it was just a huge slumber party and it was great.  And we've been hosting people from Couch Surfers and have met some interesting people.  Fawn and Irchin came back from Denver and have been staying with us, too.  I'm pretty much the only broke housemate though so that sucks.  But...!  I've beated Donkey Kong, and Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo already and working on Super Metroid 3!  Haha.  Honestly though, I feel like I've been pretty productive.  Working on gardening and cleaning the house and dumpster diving and helping people out, and the latest project has been soaking about five mummified opossums in a bucket to make them...un....mummified..?  And now we're soaking them in ammonia so that hopefully the skin will dissolve, and then we'll clean  'em up more and make necklaces and beands and stuff out of the bones :D

that's all for now, bgotta help cookdd idnner malkmjfsldkjf aljdfs;ls

I know these posts sound sooo nuts, really, I know

but I'm not fucking kidding

aghhhh

Maybe I will type it into code.

So there I was. Lost in the stupid thoughts in my head. Every day is quiet.  Night time is still.  Days go by and sometimes it seems like I don't hear a thing.  Everything is quiet.  Relaxed and stressed inside my thoughts.  Many hours pass and it only feels like mere minutes.  And sometimes it's the exact opposite.  Never still and constantly moving and fast and out of control.

Codes.  Woah.

I can't get the image out of my head though.  The name, it feels like it just echos against the walls of my skull and each time I picture those tendralls...

http://holymaurymotherofgod.tumblr.com/page/17

This made me feel better

I better start packing again I guess..